Bothered by TP's translation...

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silencia
Ranka
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Bothered by TP's translation...

Post by silencia »

Isn't anyone else bothered by TP's translation? I don't mind typos but why did they have to alter Rakushun's personality?

I dislike TP's translation due to how they portrayed Rakushun like an imbecile with his numerous stutterings and "me thinks", "meself", etc.. Totally grammatically unacceptable.
In Kaze no Banri, Reimei no Sora, Rakushun is called "buncho" by his fellow classmates- meaning something along the lines of "master of composition". If he says "meself" all the time (like uneducated slaves in our world in the past), I can't see why he would be one to be good at composing since he's obviously struggling with basic grammar.
In Eugene's translation, Rakushun had no such problems.


Eugene's blog compares her translation with Tokyopop's.
http://eugenewoodbury.blogspot.com/sear ... 0revisions
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random examples
Eugene's: "Did you receive our letter?" Rakushun asked. "We, um, thank you so very much for sparing a moment of your precious time with us."
Rakujin smiled at Rakushun's overly polite language. "Relax. Make yourselves at home."
"Um . . . . " Rakushun scratched at the bottom of his ear. He looked at Youko. "This is the kaikyaku."

Tokyopop: "Which of you sent me the letter?"
Rakushun stood. "Er, . . . twas me, er, meself, sir. Thank you very much for your time."
Wall smiled broadly. "Please, sit down."
"Er . . . Right!" Rakushun said, scratching nervously under his ear, then turned toward Yoko. "She's a kaikyaku."

(What happened to Wall's reference to his courtesy? TP made Rakushun into a simpleton who can't compose a slightly advanced polite sentence.)

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Eugene:"It has been a long journey and I know you must be tired. But rather than Kankyuu, I suggest we ask for asylum at one of the local government offices. Until we have received the official sanction of the Royal En, we should sojourn at a local inn, if you please."

TP: "I know your journey has been long, er, Your Mightiness, but I think we'd best ask for help now, rather than delay until we reach Kankyu. We can wait in, er,repose at our lodgings until the Ever-King sends word for Your Loftiness."

(Why make him stutter so? He seems so... pathetic.)
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I would like to see how TP is going to alter his personality back to becoming the intelligent master-composer he ought to be.

P.S. Eugene's translations had many maps. It seems TP took out all the filler maps except for the world map and the yellow sea map :(

edit: This may not bug you that much, but because Rakushun is my favourite character, I feel frustrated that his character has changed so much. I can no longer connect this novel's Rakushun with the anime's wise Rakusun.
TAMO
Ranka
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Location: New Zealand

Post by TAMO »

Eugene's is really much better according what is listed. I've never read an English version. Fortunately I read Chinese ones. It's much easier to understand due to all those kanji.

Anyway sometimes the translation really confuses me. I can hardly understand what it wants to express. That's why I have 2 versions in my shelf. When I don't get it in this one, I could go to another one to read this part again.

And I'm lucky enough to finally get a Japanese pal. She's gonna give the Japanese version of Tonan No Tsubasa as a gift when she comes back from Jp!! OOOHO!
There is only Two steps between us!
That's Three steps for me.
jovemako
Ranka
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Location: South Dakota, USA

Post by jovemako »

I have the full Japanese version, the English novels (as they come out) and the German novels (as they come out). I have to agree with the comment about Tokyo Pop version. In the German version, Rakushun is formal and composed like in the original version. It's a shame TP added so much shyness to his personality that it comes off as "dumbed down".
Mab
Hanjyuu
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Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:12 am

Post by Mab »

I understand where you're coming from, but I actually don't have any problem with how TP portrayed him. I don't think he's like an imbecile at all, he just has a different dialect. I know people who say "meself" or use me instead of I or my. It's just a dialect, it doesn't make someone less intelligent. Meself isn't a slave word, there are areas in the UK where it's the norm to use the word.

I honestly think that translations aren't supposed to be as literal as possible, things should be interpreted to portray something to the audience as best as possible.

In the first example you posted, even though the bit about acknowledging his polite language is left out, the sentence is still polite, and in both he pauses to collect himself. Besides the extreme politeness being left out, I don't see any major differences. He pauses in both of the sentences, collects himself in both, the feel of the passages is quite the same. He just says "Er" instead of "Um", that's really the only difference.

The second example is taken a little out of context I think. He might seem a little pathetic, but that's supposed to be the point there. This was just after they had found out that Yoko was the King of Kei. Class is one of the biggest themes in these books, and they were just trying to drive this point in. And quite honestly, I don't see throwing in an "er" in a sentence as stuttering.

Maybe TP was trying to emphasize a little more firmly that he was a Hanjyuu and make him have more animalistic qualities. That's honestly what I believe. But, in the TP books, he is still extremely knowledgeable, intelligent, and articulate. I don't think they dumbed down his character at all. Just my two cents.
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